awesomejay55

What makes a man? When I was half my current height, I thought it's primarily about how strong your body is. I trained, and I fought, trying to defend myself and those who could not defend themselves in the cruel world of a working-class district's schoolyard. My dreams were all wearing camo pants and combat boots. I wanted to be tough, and nothing more. But I could never be tough enough. No matter how much I exercised, how much I was kicking and biting and hitting them with sticks and bare hands, how much I struggled for survival, there was always an older guy, or a teacher, or a bunch of guys together, who stopped me. And then they told m

Dear Heart, Why don't you agree with Brain? You know he's right. You know I'm a girl. But you know you're a boy. That I'm supposed to be a boy. Brain disagrees though. You're confusing him. He's not used to feeling what you're feeling. I don't know what to do. It's hard when you two are fighting one another. Can't we just have peace? Could we just be human instead of either a guy or a girl? But it's not your fault, and it's not Brain's fault either. It's what I've been taught ever since I was little. That once you're born into a gender, you're stuck in it. But I've found out that's not true. You can change yourself in anyway possible if it

Silly little girl, handsome young boy, They are one in the same, oh so coy, He won’t speak a word, she will never tell, They will just live in their personal hell, He is always hidden in the dark, She is always screaming, no one will hark, They don’t know him, she’s a freak, Giving new meanings to unique, She wants nothing more to protect the he, He wants nothing more than to be free, A girl always kind of out of place, As her mind never did match her face, So she knows her place as a chrysalis, Teaching him to be future fearless, One day she will fade away, Forgotten as the butterfly boy will seize the day

I want to take a knife to my chest Cut into the mounds of flesh sitting there. They are lies A false identity. They cannot be hidden Like what's below the belt. Under every shirt There they sit Visible to all. No one will ever know That you're not what they see.

I'm a prisoner In a cage of flesh and bone. What others see Is not what I am. The way they react Tells me they don't know Just how much torture I face. With every pronoun, look, or worse They condemn me to my fate. Mental and emotional pain Is worse than physical, in fact It's so real, it's tangible. Oh, how I long to be free! I'm not a woman, I'm a man I want to shout and scream. But this society doesn't understand So, I'm trapped and tortured constantly. The worst torment of all - none realize Is my very own mind. Their words, their looks, My eyes, senses, and more, All reinforce that thought, Their vision combined wi

I hide in this house, Not wanting to leave. Knowing what it is, That everyone sees. This flesh I wear, This feminine form, My curse, my prison, Humiliation borne. I'd love to walk, Down every street. Head up and proud, Not hunched over in defeat. Stick out my chest? All they'd see are these things. That stick out in front Like great big flags. Showing the world, Someone not really me. I'm the man inside, Crying to be free. If I bound and packed, Assuming I could. This body's too female, It would be misunderstood. I walk and think like a man, Act and stand like one too. Making people uncomfortable, And fidgety throug

These breasts are like weights against me. The empty space between my legs is like starvation. This body I'm in, It's like a prison, a cage. In my past life, was I sinner? Why am I imprisoned in a state I don't want to be? Is this some sick prank that the gods are playing on us?

The hardest thing is when someone tells you it isn't right, "You are a beautiful young woman." Is it so hard... The hardest thing is thinking it wasn't a choice, No one would choose to go through this strife, No one would choose to alter their bodies if they didn't feel the need, No one would choose to have to explain to their families that their lives were lies, The hardest thing is when you are confident in yourself, You know who you are and who you want to become, Claims that it is just because it is popular, How is being in pain popular? How is having to cry at night realizing how hard things will become for you popular? Am I